So Much for My Happy Ending

It's been six months since Demandred left. Six months since I lost one of my best friends. Six months since a piece of my heart was ripped out, never to be replaced. Five months tomorrow since we lost Da'shain without warning. Five months since another piece of my heart was just gone. Five months since I had to say goodbye to my first dream big dog. I miss my boys, I miss #theBenajminCrew. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them, miss them, cry because my heart has broken so hard and it's still in pieces. 

Music, lyrics, often get me through my difficult times (if they don't send me into a further funk). And sometimes, when the lyrics are almost - but not quite there, I make them work anyway. Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending I first heard the song on Smallville, thought it was fitting then. With some minor edits, it feels fitting now. 

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Let's talk this over

I really wish we could

Was it something I did?

Was it what I didn't do?

Don't leave me hanging

In a house so empty

Held up so high on such a breakable thread (breakable thread)

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it (we lost it)

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were never staying

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh

You had your illness

I know what they say (know what they say)

They said you're terminal

But please don't go (please don't go)

But they don't know you

Do they even know me? (even know me)

All the things you hid from me

All the will power that you have (will power that you have)

You were all the things I thought I knew

And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it (we lost it)

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were fading

So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there

Thanks for being the one for me

And making me feel like I was the only one

It's nice to know we had it all

Wish you were here as I fall

And trying to hang for to me

He was everything, everything that I wanted

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all of the memories, so close to me just fade away

All this time you were fading

So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted (that I wanted)

We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away

All this time you were never staying

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much for my happy ending

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh