Monday, January 4, 2021

2020 Over/2021 - The Ending Has Not Yet Been Written


However much it was a kick in the face to read my decade wrap up for 2010-2020 and at the end see – “2020 - I am beyond excited about everything that's coming up ”, ironically while my life did change in 2020, for me, not much of it was due to COVID. For me it’s not possible to just “think of the positives” because it’s about balance for me – I have to also reflect on the hard stuff too.  

We opened the year (New Year’s Eve night/morning) with one of Dred’s seizures. They had been under control, but then from about Christmas out, he had about one a week. Dan had surgery on January 3rd – fixing some aftereffects of his cancer treatment (cancer btw is still staying GONE). After 2.5 years of trying to continue with life as normal when my husband had been diagnosed (and dealing with) cancer, I had a mini breakdown – that hardly anyone noticed because I’d just gone through surgery on January 15th myself, so it was expected that I retreated from life for 3+ weeks for my own recovery. My mom was my rock, and her flying into town really enabled me to let go for awhile and just recharge.

The week before I was scheduled to go back to work, a friend helped drag me out of my bed and we went to my very first dog show – we got to see the Ibizans and we even met someone new! It was so much fun. Two days later the Chiefs won the Superbowl, and Dred had his final seizure. My doberboy, my friend, my favorite working companion was gone. Not even 5 weeks later, we lost Da’shain – my friendly, happy, fun dog who never acted his age his entire life, up until it was time for us to let him go.

This was all pre COVID. Not even a week after we lost Da’shain, we were sitting at The Habit with friends – it was the night that the NBA announced it was canceling/postponing the season – and we all wondered how things would change. None of us could have ever foreseen that in 2021 the COVID numbers are still rising. The following weekend we went to a friend’s birthday get together and had a lot of fun with a lot of people – it was the largest gathering we went to in 2020.

That same weekend Kroger (the company I work for) worked overtime to send all of their office people home to work – my department got busier than we are even during the holidays, and it didn’t let up until….maybe October, when it started getting busy for the holidays again. Because I already work from home, that wasn’t an adjustment for me, except the house felt empty as we were missing two dogs. Then in April the courts closed and Dan was sent to work from home. That was another adjustment…workflow changes, shopping changes, but nothing big. We still both had jobs, I wasn’t worried about mine, and Dan was only slightly worried about getting furloughed (which never happened). The courts are open now (the huge debate about the miscarriage of justice aside), but Dan still mainly works from home.

Although we weren’t going out – we did Fry’s Clicklist/Pickup for all of our grocery shopping, and we weren’t having our big, fun get togethers – in May I got to settle into a “normal” routine and got to keep getting out of the house. I taught canine swimming/dock diving for the second year in a row and got out of the house two nights in a row, every week from May – September, and only took the week of July 4th off. Everyone was masked up, and it’s an outdoor pool, so social distancing was easy – and mostly easy to forget COVID and just have fun with the dogs.

In June, when COVID was getting really bad in Arizona, we fled for a week to visit family in Idaho – of course taking care to self-evaluate and be careful on the road. What was super strange was no gas stations had the stores open at night – so finding a restroom was…not fun. For a little while we were able leave the “real world” behind and just have fun hiking on the Christmas tree farm with Zin (and Dare too).

Work was also going through massive changes – completely unrelated to COVID, that had been put on hold because of COVID for a few months. But they delayed no longer, and in June/July the reorganizing started. With this on top of the normal COVID anxiety, life was super stressful. Ultimately though, the changes at work ended up being amazing for me. I’m in a brand-new position, that I completely LOVE and it’s fantastic – even if I do work two hours earlier than I used to (early AM starts and I are not friends). This change also led my working days shifting; for fourteen years I worked Sunday – Thursday and as of 12/20 I am now Monday – Friday (haven’t worked a Friday yet, haha).

August through December were kind of lost in a blur. September, I had a milestone birthday that my friends and family managed to make amazing, despite COVID (yay tacos, video messages, surprises, and custom cakes!). I also had a terrible allergic reaction to something and ended up turning a year older in the hospital. NO MORE WALNUTS, KATHERINE. October seemed to fly then Halloween weekend I had several medical issues pop up, that we’re still working on figuring out. This includes learning that the major surgery I went through in January was great, but those same issues are happening again.

While we haven’t been to a movie since Bad Boys For Life, we’ve had watch parties with good friends – Extraction was boring, The Old Guard was super fun, and WW84 was so bad we were all mocking it the entire time.

What else? In late 2019 I had approached the dog training facility we know I love and asked about apprenticing to teach obedience classes, not just the dock diving I do. In January of 2020 I started shadowing Basic Obedience classes, and while COVID threw a wrench in the timing – I am starting my own first class this month!

I feel like I’m only now raising my eyes from my book and coming out of a haze. As usual there’s so much more that didn’t make it into the story. Like how I almost brought home a Sloughi puppy. And there could be an entirely separate post about how I feel that my boys (my dogs) tether my soul to this plane (yes, very philosophical). I lost two dogs in under five weeks and was adrift for so long (still am). There are many things I’m looking forward to in 2021, yet I’m more wary than ever of writing them into the story before I’m beyond sure that they’re happening. “I know my apprehensions might never be allayed, and so I close, realizing that…the ending has not yet been written.” - Myst

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