attempts at bringing the words back

Over the past eight months I've been writing a lot, but nothing like I used to, even though I've been trying.  


Some of the writing has simply been gathering my old poetry together on Facebook here and for me that was opening myself up a lot.  More than I had in the past eight years.  Creating that page and creating the project I call #MLiPoetry (My Life in Poetry) take a lot out of me.  I'm trying to go back throughout my life and find all of my old poems and talk about them.  Talk about what I was feeling when I wrote the poem, or what it means to me now.  It's quite a project and even posting and analyzing one poem can sometimes (not always) rip me apart as I remember the child that I was.

Other parts of the writing has been my Wheel of Time blog found here.  There's a series, called the Wheel of Time that I've been re-reading and posting about.  I started this partially due to the fact that the last book in the series is coming out within the next 18 months and partially due to the fact that I wanted something to write about.  So I'm writing short(ish) snippets about each chapter.

There's another blog I have (can you tell yet that I'm a little ocd about compartmentalizing my blogs?) that I started when I decided to go back to school, it can be found here.

Through it all though, all of these projects, I still haven't found my words.  I can still write better and easier than most people I know, but my words, the ones that are the most important to me, they're still gone.  Every last one of these projects I started with the intent of bringing the words back, sort of preparing the ground...and I've been patient, I've tried, I really have.  Five years ago, I wasn't ready.  Now I am, yet maybe the words are something that can only be found by an innocent child and not by someone who threw her gift back and called it a curse.

For now I'll keep trying - not forcing, but simply keep writing, until someday I'll have to accept defeat and say, the words were there, but now they are gone.
~