Our HOA is a little bit different from many in that our developers still run the HOA; we have no board members from the neighborhood. We can "suggest" things, but even if we have a majority, if the developers don't want to change, it doesn't happen. Now, for the most part, yes, I signed up for it, and I knew what I was getting into - that's actually not even my problem today. For the most part it's about keeping the neighborhood presentable. Sure, I don't like the "no parking on the street overnight" but I can live with it or breaking the rule every once in awhile.
No, my problem is actually with how my neighbors handle their complaints with/about their other neighbors. It all started online (we have a Facebook neighborhood "watch" group) about a week ago. A few people complained about seeing an elderly man out with his two poodles in the morning off leash and not picking up their poop (but having the bags to do so), by the park. Personally, while I think he should pick up the poop, I have a hard time condemning him for having his dogs off leash early morning when it sounds like no one else was around (these people saw him from the pool area). Remember, my exit doesn't have anything else nearby, so no dog park off my exit, no real play area except wide open desert. During the summer my husband and I have personally driven probably 75 miles to get to a dog park so I can let my own dogs out to for a run and avoid the desert. One could make an argument that he shouldn't have his dogs off leash in that area no matter what, and I really can see both sides of it, but I won't condemn him, at least he's trying to avoid people.
Then a few days the picture above was posted. Not even 24 hours later, there were 63 comments, mostly castigating this man for both having his dogs off leash and not picking up their poop. My main problem originally when the post was made is that no one said they witnessed the dogs pooping and no one once said they'd talked with the man about it and explained that sure it's also against regs, but it really does bother someone. If I park my car in the street overnight and it really does bother my neighbors, I'd like them to approach ME about it instead of ranting on FB about it, and if i still do it, feel free to rant.
The comments swiftly piled up
with someone ready to watch the fireworks, and maybe cause some of his own
Then I jumped in, trying to ask a pretty reasonable question, I thought.
Strangely, the person who originally answered my question, deleted their answer, their next comment is the second, below another seemingly reasonable, yet also rant filled comment.
Wait - here's another reasonable voice to add to the mix (I kinda love the comment, too because I can't tell you how many times in the past year I've been to the pool only to find it closed due to some kid pooping in the pool - I love kids, but put on swim diapers and a swimsuit) Anyway, I digress.
After a few memes posted into the comments, which I'm not copying here as they're worthless, the person above has another reasonable response.
The person who posted the original comment that started this thread also had a reasonable suggestion, which I commented on, trying to say "hey, guys, at least let him know he's bothering you." Of course, no one listened. Next up is the comment (the last one in this picture) that really made me upset.
The comment about "what alternatives" was trying to point out that out here where we live, our ONLY alternative is the desert where live snakes, scorpions and spiders and summertime is when they're really active. We've petitioned our board for dog park but been told a polite "not at this time" which means probably never. So the "many" alternatives don't exist, plus hey, that dog owner is a homeowner too, and the HOA maintains it for his enjoyment too. And the other alternatives, really? Do you even OWN dogs? Now I'm going to make some assumptions here, based on how myself as a dog owner, when I'm older, would feel about that. My dogs are my best friends, they've been with me through everything. If I got them when I was younger, and they were younger too, litter training is out of the question, even if I wanted to. I'm not going to ask my dog (mind you the dogs are not even small dogs; he has two standard poodles) to poop inside. Hiring a someone to pick up poop after me would probably help, but if I don't know anyone in the neighborhood it would be hard, especially if they all seem unfriendly to me, an older person who may not want to admit that I need help. Personally, I'd try to make sure they pooped in my own yard before I took them out and if they did poop outside I'd do my best to pick it up. But, I would still try to get them out to the park. Being older, I might not have the energy to take them on long walks, but I know my dogs love to run, so I'd try to get them somewhere that's safe for them to run and not bother anyone, even though it's technically not supposed to be allowed. As for the last alternative that's NOT an alternative to me - it'll never happen. As long as I'm able feed my dogs, they're staying with me. Oh, and if someone did let me know it was bothering them, I'd do something to change the situation, not give up my dogs.
And here are the last few comments that are worth saying anything about
What I'm not posting here are probably 20 memes of people making jabs at the one person who just kept trying to say "if it bothers you DO something about it, don't just complain."
My issue really has nothing to do with what this man did or didn't do. It has to do with how my neighbors are handling it. In the end - it's just strange to me -
- I'm not happy that they took a picture of his license plate and proceeded to put it on a public forum (you can't tell from my screen shot, but on FB you can actually see the entire thing).
- If you're going to post a complain and say "watch out for this guy" why don't YOU go talk with him. It's not a post about "watch out for dude in the blue Ford truck who speeds down the street and if you see this car, tell him it's dangerous" It's not even a post about "warning, solicitor out on xxx street" It's a post about someone who is doing something that anyone who is bother by it can say "sir, did you realize that your dogs are pooping out here and we do have children that play out here too. If you're unable to pick up their poop with the bags you carry, maybe you should take them to the desert?" And if he continues, then find out who he is and write the HOA - take some action steps.
- The person who suggests these reasonable steps, and asks everyone to take a step back, gets attacked, he takes it well and just views it as humorous, as evidenced by the "real housewives" comment above, but the attacks are reasons I don't say anything more in this thread beyond the three things I already did. It's like trying to verbally reason with people that do not hear. I do not feel like beating my head against the wall today (or any other day, really).
- Where I'm from, all this negativity didn't happen or at least I didn't see it. If an elderly person was struggling to keep up with his or her dogs, people would pitch in and help that person KEEP the dog, their best friends, never suggest that they get rid of the dog.
- Side note - the original thread is gone as if it never were - it had gotten up to over 100 comments, most of which were useless.
Now I leave you with the words of Rodney King:
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