Family

  Family is on my mind tonight...especially the fact that I am so blessed to have a family both born and chosen and fallen into a family who I know, not just from believing in my heart, but having experienced it, will be there for me during anything. My dad’s family has been there for me my entire life, both of my dad's brothers’ family's, each and every member has been there for us in one way or another. My mother’s family embraced us all the way from California, Arizona and wherever my mom’s sister was (Aunt J, I can’t name all of the states J)

My family didn't just show up for birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. We spent Fourth of July together too, and lots of Sundays; we shared our lives. Growing up, I didn't realize how special of a family connection we had, not just the four members of my family, but all of our extended family. We were family, and that meant something to all of us. The connection, it’s the intangible thing that no one ever talks about, but when you need it, it’s there and you don’t even realize that’s why you gravitate towards your family.

As my brother and I grew older, our chosen family, the family that just “happens” grew as well. From J and L to J and D and their kids, to my “other” brother, to Milena and Milos and Petr, even Reynolds became family. when I got married, I inherited my husband’s family as well, his born and chosen.

I’m not even sure that “chosen’ is the right word for the family not born to you, but it’s the family that happens over time when you have a connection with someone that grows and one day it simply is. And I think I’m lucky too, because while you choose the “chosen” family, for blood family it’s said “you don’t get to choose your family” yet I wouldn't have chosen any other family; dad, mom, brothers, uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins all.

My mom and dad were such an example of loving family, I know I wouldn't have the idea of family I have if not for them. Family meant something to them and they opened their home to everyone. They are the reason I have such an extended network of family, the reason I am able to open my heart to so many people, and love everyone. I think, in a lot of ways, to my parents, everyone they knew was family. Even if it was some person they’d just met, they’d go out of their way to welcome them. My Russian friend from Letni Skola, so many years ago – he stayed for a week after classes, but we spent time together every day, and every he’d come home with me and my mom would cook up a storm, and not complain when he had – I think it was two BBQ chicken breasts and two hamburgers, or was it one in the same night? Mom even baked him a birthday cake – something he’d never had before, since it wasn't a Russian tradition (of course she had to add the “trick” candles!). He was just awed by her hospitality, something that to us, was normal.

My mom and my younger self were often – not at odds – but coming from different sides of the river, and my dad was the bridge. He was great – often translating our moods for us. I miss him so much, but one thing his death did was force my mom and me to communicate with each other, no filter. Our relationship over the past eleven years has grown so much.

My mom is such an amazing person. I know she loves me - she loves me more than I can imagine. She is one of the best people I have ever met. No – she’s not perfect, no one is. But everything about loving family came from her and my father. Everything I've ever learned about hosting came from her and Diane. Everything I've learned about sticking by family through thick and thin came from my mom. Twice, she has dropped everything, and even driven through dangerous weather, because I needed her. For six months my mom was a nanny to her first granddaughter because my brother needed her (away from her own home, during the busiest time of year for their Christmas tree farm). She’s always made an effort to be wherever I am for my birthday, and for my brother too. Mom’s been there for her two brothers and her sister. Mom’s family can always count on her even from a different country she’s come through.

Right now I think I’m feeling a little nostalgic because I’m away from my family – both born and chosen. Away from that network of people that I relied on without even realizing I knew I had that net around me. From a 13^th birthday trip, to a graduation trip, to being willing to tell me my dad really was dying, to picking me up at a school that I didn't really belong in, to flying me home so I could be with my dad before he died, to taking care of me after he passed, to letting me drive to the memorial and spending time with me afterwards, to being there when I lost my job and needed a good cry, to driving me in the snow to the hospital, to always answering the phone and being willing to have long philosophical discussions, to just being there to vent with, to knowing I can just show up on one of many doorsteps any be welcome – no questions asked, to showing up to the hospital when I wouldn't even know it was you, to staying by my side and never leaving, to surprising me for my 30^th birthday, to hosting my husband and me when we were in Czech and being amazing hosts, the common theme is just being there, being you, all of you.

I miss you guys, everywhere you are, and thank you, wherever you are.