lifestyle changes

For some reason I feel like I should be writing, perhaps only because it’s been months since I have last written.  My excuses are not even that there’s nothing to say, or even that there’s too much to convey.  More simply, that I haven’t bothered to write; my discipline has been spent elsewhere. For a time, when we first moved to Arizona, I dedicated myself to writing and to my photography. Later, towards the New Year, I dedicated myself to healthy habits; mainly – eating better and getting into the habit of exercising.

Three months later, I’m not eating radically, but I am eating more healthily than I have in years and I've made a habit of riding my bike about 2.5 miles a day at least five days a week. And…I've lost exactly no weight. Now, I could get all discouraged about that, and trust me, I have, but I've also somehow just gotten more determined. Not hardcore determined, not yet, but at least like, okay so 2.5 miles a day doesn't do it, maybe three or four? Maybe add some elliptical time in as well, no matter how much I don’t want to do it? Maybe add some jump rope and stretching exercises?

Yes, if I could stop with the pop I’d be a lot better off, I’m sure. But I finally found something I like doing that’s active (the biking, I do actually love it and miss it when I’m not able to do it) and I’m doing much better with the eating thing, that I don’t want to end up just hating everything else I’m doing to be “healthy”. I’m kind of in between the whole you only live once so enjoy life while you have it, and living the absolutely healthiest I can be. Yes, I admit there are some sacrifices I am not willing to make, but I also understand that means I’ll have to work that much harder in other areas. Eventually I might even give up pop, but on my terms, no one else’s and that’s how it’s supposed to be.

There are so many things I want to do that would just be easier if I were more in shape, more healthy – not overweight. Being active with my boys (dogs) is a big one for me, because I love them and they love to run. My photography is a HUGE one, because there are so many shots I’d love to get that would involve me being contorted and in strange positions that I can’t get into right now, much less out of. Shopping is even a big one, no surprise there. I love clothes and I love shopping, but neither is my friend right now. It helps, I suppose that there are reasons beyond being healthy and looking good, for me to keep active and keep eating right (most of the time).

So far did I fall before I realized something needed to permanently change. There are so many things I could blame – my thyroid issue being one of the top things, but I refuse. In the end, it was me being, not lazy, but indifferent, and that has ended. I am not so guilt ridden that I am going to hide in my room and never come out, but I am ashamed I let myself get this far before I decided to change.  

Here is where I should make a profound closing statement, but I don’t really have one. This started off with a “so I should write something” and turned into a rant about trying to work out/get healthy/lose weight. Mainly a rant about how it’s not working, or at least nothing that I can see. This is the point in the past where I’d be like “okay, it’s been three months and nothing’s happening, it’s not worth it, so I’ll stop for a year until I become disgusted with myself again.” This time I’m pushing past that, at least I’m doing my best to push past it, which means I will because my best is good enough to keep going. We’ll see.

In other news – my photography and projects may have been put on the back burner for now, but they’re still going well. More on that later.